Craving Connection

“All human beings crave the emotional intimacy that comes with friendship. We are not created to live in isolation from one another but to experience connection. That inborn need to connect drives each of us to seek our persons who seem inherently wired to understand us, support us, and even delight in us. That sense of kinship causes us to feel recognized and validated, no longer isolated.”

-Marilyn Meberg

Right now I am working my way through Marilyn Meberg’s Constantly Craving, it has been such a great book that looks at why we are always wanting more, why we are always craving something bigger than what we already have. In her book there is a whole chapter devoted to needing more friendship and it put to words something I have always felt. I crave friendship. I crave connections.

I’ve been one to joke more often than not that ‘I need more friends’ or that ‘we can be real friends now’ after hanging out with someone outside of work or church or an organized function which was the only reason I would see these people.

Two years ago I moved to a brand new state where I only knew maybe 2 or 3 people before the move, I started completely fresh, telling myself that this move would be a great new start, I could redefine who I am, I could make tons of new friends, I could find a church to get planted in, I could do what I wanted to do (Don’t worry, I prayed long and hard about this move and even questioned God on if this is where He really wanted me).

Many times I put myself in a box, the biggest box I lock myself into is the introvert box. I know I am an introvert and sometimes I allow that to define who I am and unfortunately I get stuck in that rut. Growing up I had (and still have) the 3 best friends in the world (I may be slightly biased…only slightly though), now being in a different state, and on my own, I realize how much more I crave to be around people, how much I crave friendships, not just any friendships but deep friendships that I can be myself with the good, the bad and the crazy.

On those days when I feel down and alone and isolated I realize that for me that is one of the biggest footholds the devil has in my life, he finds ways to bog me down, tell me I can’t make friends, that I will always be alone, that the few friends I do have won’t always be there.

We were never called to be alone, we are social creatures, we were made to be with other people, to share in a community, to experience life together.

I’ve learned I can’t let those thoughts into my head, they get a hold of me very quickly and when I let them in the enemy works his way in to convince me that I don’t want to be around anyone, I don’t want to be a part of my community, I don’t want to go to church and be with people, I don’t want to connect or talk to anyone but the truth is that’s the opposite of what I need!

I need that community! I need people in my life! People that will uplift, hold me accountable, call me out, laugh with me, accept my goofiness and help me to grow! At the same time I want to do that for others! My relationship with Jesus is not nearly as strong as in those moments when I can share who He is with others! When I can worship Him as a community of believers and I can study with others. It adds richness to my life, it strengthens my faith. It’s time to kick the devil out! To not let him into my mind and tell me I am alone. Even when I feel like I am alone, I am NEVER alone, Jesus is always by my side and His relationship is the one I care most about, I want Him to be my best friend, to know everything about me, to challenge me and push me, to strengthen me. Unlike anyone else He will only ever do what is best for you, nothing He does has a hidden meaning, or is for someone elses gain.

-Elle

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