The Introvert Issue

I’ve fit into the introvert bubble for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been quiet, when I was younger I was beyond quiet, no matter how quiet it was around me you still would struggle to hear what I was saying. I know what the world says about introverts, the stereotypes of being dumb, stuck-up, social outcasts, boring, I’ve heard them all.

Our world is created for extroverts, we are encouraged to speak up, take charge, take control. In school we are painstakingly (at least for me) to go through public speaking, at church the atmosphere is set up for the extroverted person, the media, the constant things happening, that awkward greeting moment that happens every service.

The Meyers-Briggs classifies me as an INF/SJ  Introvert. Intuitive. Feeling/Sensing. Judging. I’ve always wanted to be more of an extroverted person. To make friends easier, to stand out in a crowd, to not be invisible.

But the truth is I don’t mind being an introvert, it is who I am, I am a thinker, I consider things before I speak. It takes me longer to process, I take longer to respond, not because I am dumb or that I can’t keep up with conversation, but because I am considering what is being said and how I want to respond. I’ve been reading a book lately called Quiet: The Power of Introvert in a World that Can’t Stop Talking By: Susan Cain it is has made me realize some things more and more. I am good with being an introvert, the world needs introverts as well as extroverts. It’s ok for me to be quiet and a thinker. It’s one thing when I wish I could be more extroverted, it’s a whole other thing when others decide that my introvertedness is a bad thing. That I need to be an extrovert to be happy.

Dear World,

Stop trying to make us introverts into extroverts, yes sometimes we will choose books over parties, we will choose two friends over twenty. It’s who we are, there is nothing wrong with it. You don’t need to force us to be more like you, to stick out and ask for all the attention in the room. We are thinkers. Introspective. World, I don’t need you to tell me to stop doing something and go meet more people, I will find where I be long. Stop taking jabs at my quiet-side, you may think it’s funny but it’s not and it hurts, especially when it comes from close friends.

So for you extroverts out there, that aren’t sure quite what to do with us, I found this to help. Accept us and love us. Don’t try to make us into what you think we should be.

The only thing I need to be is the woman that God created me to be.

 

introverts

“Don’t ever mistake my silence for ignorance. My calmness for acceptance and my kindness for weakness.”

-Elle

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4 Comments

  1. Love this! This introvert needed to hear it! Well written.

    Reply
    • Thanks so much! I am glad someone else needed to hear it, It’s been on my mind that last couple of days and I needed to write it, I just wasn’t sure if I was going to actually post it

      -Elle

      Reply
  2. DarkRaiven

     /  January 28, 2013

    I stumbled on this page on accident.. or did I? I love your outlook on this and it makes me realize that I am OK to feel this way too… I spent 22 years in an industry made for extroverts… and I am now struggling through college as an “adult learner” and cannot get over the presentations I have to give each semester… for nearly every class! I want to crawl inside myself and vanish when the time comes for my turn. I shall bookmark this page and keep reading! Thank you!

    Reply
    • I know that feeling so well! I paid a visit to my college advisor recently and we were discussing how every semester like clock work I would be assigned something where I had to present and I would end up in his office freaking out that I would fail because of how much a presentation was worth of my grade and how I would never survive. But you know what, I did survive, and I have the degree to prove it, it may not have been pretty and I was probably shaking through each presentation and for the rest of the day, but in the end I grew from the experience, I still hate speaking in public and will avoid it if possible. Good Luck with your classes, you’ll do great!

      Reply

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